I don’t read books much. It’s not that I hate reading, but it depends on the book. There are a lot of books that someone offered me to read but none of them were finished reading by me. Though I read Harry Potter books..Hmmm but I only read one of it’s seven books, the book 3. If most of the peoople read all of them, well not me. Not really fond of reading, ever since.

Of all the books that I’ve read (finished it or not) only Little Prince made me cry. Actually the books was given by my cousin years ago. Though I started reading it, but it was still unfinished. Until last Saturday, when I had nothing to do inside my room. I was not feeling well then and felt bored. When I saw the Little Price inside my cabinet and read it. At long last I did read it!

Nobody’s perfect, that’s a fact. People tend to say exactly what they feel, but do they really tell what’s inside of them? I’m not sure if any of you experience such thing like that. I, myself ever done that. Not only once, but most of the time.

I sometimes fake my self, what I’m feeling just to avoid conflict to someone. My friends always ask me whether I’m really that ok when they start to ask me personal questions. I always say “yes I’m ok.” But they don’t seem to believe. They say my eyes tell it all. Well, I don’t know.

Just yesterday when we hang out. I told them that we’ll meet. Just nothing, drinking or chatting will do. It’s so unusual for me to do that. I don’t usually set up an appointment to my friends. They all wondered, asked themselves, what is going on? It’s so funny when I arrived, they looked at me and asked “Are you ok? What’s your problem?”. I admit, I’ m so tired of hearing that question over and over again. If I’ll say YES, they don’t seem to agree still and if they do, they’re still in doubt.

Well, I guess no matter how I hard I try to keep it by myself, they can tell. Friends seem to feel the real emotions inside you, aren’t they? Coz I believe they’re right. There’s something that’s been bothering me for the past few days. I just want to live life and pretend. But sometimes, I just can’t seem to keep it. It shows…No matter how I keep on denying.

I feel so bad lately because the place that me and my childhood friends was bought by someone whom I don’t know. I’m not sad because it was bought, actually it’s all about the memories.

I’m talking about the vacant lot just outside our house. Before, the lot was a place where everyone can go and play. It has trees, a pond with fishes in it and because it’s quite wide, grasses are everywhere. We used to play there. My family even fall for this place. The owner once said that we are free to use the place while they’re looking for a buyer. We’re like the caretaker of that vacant place.

“Blood is thicker than water” they say, and I surely agree.

Living in a simple life with good health each day is the one of the things that I thank God everyday. Growing up with my three (older) brothers measn so much to me. Sometimes I feel so special but sometimes I feel like an outcast. I guess it’s because they share most of the things together while I have none.

Misunderstanding, fighting over things and disappointment can never be erase in siblings. There are times when I feel so bad to one of them and I will just go inside my room, unwind and cool down. All the understanding and patience are in me, well, since I am the youngest. That’s always my part. *sigh*